The grossest noises in any video game are yours in the ultimate fight that takes place across two backgrounds against guys who all have the same moves. When you hit each other in it your guys make the same sounds that the gross dog does when it chokes on the bone in the Christmas Vacation movie.
So if you ever wanted to create a guy who looks like don cheadle and then pit him against a bunch of guys who look mostly alike in front of one background and then one more background, then this is the game for you. Unless you love Karate and hate Kickboxing and the sounds of throwing up.
Because! Even though this nintendo tape has the word Karate in the name there is no karate at all it is kickboxing. In America that is called a “false” advertisement. Which is illegal.
The best part of this wildly dishonest game is the MOVIE that came out that was a sequel to it. It was named Best of the Best 2. There was even a bad guy who used metal nunchucnks AND had a metal club on his ponytail. He used them to whip all kinds of ass.
That is why today’s review is Best of The Best Championship Karate.
1993 was a baller ass year for all things. The super nintendo was out and had all of the coolest tapes like UN Sqaudron and james bond jr. Also nickelodeon had ALL cool shows. Afraid of Dark, Hey Dudes, Salute The Shorts, etc etc. Awesome.
Well here’s the thing about that year: it also had jurassic park and best of the best 2 movie. and Ground Hogs’ Day. I wanted to see Ground Hog day REALLY bad. It looked like it had a cool magical storyline and also looked romantic in the previews. My favorite movie back then was called Untamed Heart with Christien Slater and Marissa Tomei. And it was romantic and sad and was just great. It got me really into movies where people fell in love. When i was a kid I always thought it would be cool to make someone happy like that and have them look at you the same way as the people in those movies.
I told my BEST friend Aaron about Untamed Heart and he only said something like “what the f***ck” but he didnt make fun of me about it. He just looked confused. Later on he said he saw part of it on satellite and it was boring so he turned it off.
Anyway, so Groundhog Day looked awesome. When Byron and Ellis said we are going to go see a movie one day, I was pretty excited because I figured it was going to be that. BUT. They said even tho we are BUYING a ticket to Ground Hog Day, we are going to sneak into Best of The Best 2 and watch that instead. Because it is rated R and we were only 16. (ellis was 15). I was really disappointed. But I knew that if I argued it wouldn’t matter bc we always did what Byron and Ellis wanted to do and honestly it was just what Ellis wanted to do.
Byron never argued with him because he wanted to look like he was also the one in charge, and so it was only me who ever suggested something else. Like renting Ernest Saves Christmas instead of Hellraiser in 1989 which I did bc it was my money i got from my mom (i lied and said Hellraiser was out at the time) and they really whined about it so I watched it alone and it was great. Idiots.
Before the movie we met up with our other friends who were transfer students from Quebec. They moved to our town because their dads were both lumberjacks and they were going to cut down a lot of trees. Their names were Leon and Henri. You had to say Leon like it rhymed with the name Liam, though. So it didnt really sound like Leon at all.
They were cousins and both of their families moved down to our town in America together. They were both cool and SUPER nice to me but Henri had a very strange sense of humor. He was always making us laugh with his jokes but he had a habit that was very strange to me.
He loved peeing everywhere that was not a toilet. In your yard, on the street, didnt matter. In the middle of the day, he just did not care. He did it so much and Leon didnt ever bat an eye so i Figured that is just how it is done in their country. They were french and I wasn’t sure how they were both canadian and french at the same time and I didnt’ want to look like a moron by asking them. So when they did stuff that was different like peeing all over in public I just figured “well they’re french and canadian so that must be normal.”
I thought with their added votes I might be able to change the movie to Groundhog Day but they were also really wanting to see Best of the Best 2. I’d rented that tape before for super nintendo and i HATED it! It was boring and it sounded NASTY any time you got hit or hit another guy. So when a movie sequel to it came out I knew it would sound gross or be boring.
But guess what: The movie actually ROCKED. it had a guy who dressed like ken in street fighter, and he fights in this underground rich people club, and if they lose the singer my mom liked Wayne Newten would come out and then hold up his thumb. If the rich people in the audience cheered, his thumb stayed up and the loser of the fight got to live. But! If the crowed booed, he turned his thumb down and the loser gets a FATALITY. So the movie was not like the nintendo tape at all! It was like street fighter mixed with mortal combat. then the guy who died has two friends who come to the underground fight place and beat the crap out of everyone for revenge, even a guy who has metal nunchucks and a club attached to his pony tail.
We were all walking home after the movie and Henri was behind me and I hear him say in his french accent “Hey, (my name)”…
and i looked back to him and while he is WALKING behind me he has his th*ng out the front of his pants and is PEEING on the sidewalk!
that was almost 30 years ago and i still do not know how he didnt pee all over his shoes but somehow the stream just stayed ahead of him while he walked. We all laughed really hard, that guy was hilarious.
We went back to Leon’s house because it was closest to the movie theater and he had a really big basement that was just like a second living room. Ellis and Henri wanted to “spar” and practice moves from the movie. Sparring is when you do a fight but the hits are like pretend so they don’t hurt. When it was my turn, Ellis accidentally kicked me in the face as hard as he could and my glasses flew off my head. Henri died laughing then so did everyone else so I made myself laugh too.
No one knew how bad it hurt and how dumb I felt at all. Because when you are going to do fights you have to accept that you can get hurt. It is part of being cool and having friends.
So I give Best of the Best Karate Championship nintendo tape a 10/10
