Rise from the Grave, and do not trust bills brother patrick.
warning: do not huff.
Today’s review is the tape named Altered Beast. I chose this tape to review because it has a line in it at the very begining. When God wakes you up from death to destroy enemies he says “rise from the grave” and he uses his magic to bring you back to life. Which is cool and what I hope happens to me after I die because frankly 70 years won’t be enough to complete my Great Work (more on that later) (it just means play all games released on atari jaguar)
Well let me tell you in the summer that i got this game (1989), it was included if you bought sega gensis. I went to my buddy Bill’s house across the street and his brother was showing him how to do “huffing” and asked if i wanted to try. I said what is that. He said it is where you open the gas tank to his dad’s motor cycle then put your mouth over the gas hole and breathe it in. Well, I said Im not a moron. So no.
But my friend Bill (always wanted to act cool and brave) said yes. So his brother said ok come here. Put your mouth over this gas hole and just breath it as deep as you can. So bill did that. He started coughing and fell down backwards. when he fell he hit the back of his head on the concrete floor of their garage. then bill didn’t move. i started to cry (i was only 13 and that is a ok thing to cry about if your only 13) it doesn’t make me a baby.
But his brother was already “huffed up” so he was just laughing but then their mom barb heard me crying and yelling that bill was dead. so she came down stairs and started going crazy screaming what happened. I ran home and told my mom and she just said what is huffing. I told her what it is and all she said was “why did he do that” and i told her how i think bill is dead now, the only friend I ever had who saw me beat Duck Tales in one day.
She said Bill wouldn’t die and to go get ready for dinner. The next day bill was at school alive and didnt even have a bandage on his head. And you know what he did well I will tell you. He told everyone I wouldn’t huff and I cried when he got “ripped up as hell” on it. I got made fun of for two weeks because of that. But guess what jokes were on all the kids in school back then because bill would still come to my house and be my friend in secret and he would play my tapes, he only pretended to think i was an idiot coward in front of everyone in school. So in the end i was not the loser after all. Only everyone else.
This is why I give Altred Beast nintendo tape for sega geneses a 10/10
