Descendant of Erdrick, you are called upon to rise against the vile Dragonlord and free the people from his evil rule! But first…you must whack these happy looking Slimes with a stick for a few hours so you can buy a sword and walk more than twenty feet from the first town. JFC.
That is why todays’ review is Dragon Warrior nintendo tape for NES.
If you had never played a roll playing game before Dragon Warrior then I got bad news! You were destined to die over and over and not understand who would play this piece of crap! So like everyone I tossed it into the “bad game” pile for a few months. And it would have stayed there if my brother in law hadn’t come to our house and stayed with us and taught me dungeon and dragon that christmas! He taught me about experience points, “stats” and armor and hit points! (HP)
It was a lot to learn and I asked him to train me as a dungon master which now as a adult age of 44 I am embarrassed about and I know it was a dumb thing to say but I was 12 so just calm down and stop making fun of me about it in your mind. He looked awkward when I asked him that in front of my Aunt and Uncle.
So the king is mad. For one, his daughter has been taken (of coarse) by a dragon and is being held in a dungeon. Also he is mad because a dude by name of Dragonlord stole a ball of light and is turning the world into poisonous crap and making monsters just go around wrecking stuff. The monsters look pretty happy about that. They always have a big grin on there face which makes it pretty fun to beat them to death just to get them to stop smiling. They look like they got a dose of the ol joker forumla name SMILEX. Which is cool.
Joker is a great villain so anything that reminds you of him as a bad guy automatically becomes even better in your mind. That is why some enemies smile in games and movies, everyone knows joker is a good villain (even though he is usually the good guy and batman is the true villain if you think about it… being bullied made him into jocker in first place) so it makes you want to rent their game or movie even more and more.
So before you get mad and throw the game into a pile, let me tell you. Go outside of the town after you collect some supplies from the castle then hit Slimes and Drackies with your club until you have some money to buy a shield and sword. And get EXP points which level you up! Not level like Mario. But your character power is LEVEL in this game. So level 2 means you got more strength and magic and you can hit harder! So do that for a few hours until youre’ bored. MAKE SURE if you get hurt to go rest in the inn. It is only a few gold and you make more than that killing the monsters. Eventually you can start walking further and further from town and the adventure TRULY begins.
You can save princess Gwaylen and the king will be happy, you can search for items like the armor of your great grandpa Erdrick, things like that. But what you want is that ball of light the king told you about. That will let you bring good back to the world but dragonlord has it! You have to get through a whole world to get to him though! it will take you many hours… you will face many dungeons and monsters and bosses…but if you are smart like me you will bring lots of torches because the dungons are total crap.
If you dont have a torch you can only see one square around you! and the dungeons are giant mazes it is the worst. So buy a lot of them. i cried in one because i got so mad and sad about how I ran out and mom asked me what was wrong and i said i was out of torches and instead of helping me to get some in the game her answer was for me to put the game down for the night and calm down!!!!!!!! wrong anwser !!!!!!!!!!!!
The game can be hard to understand because it talks like it is the Bible. Thou this and thee that, it is weird. I think it may be based on the bible. I dont’ know for sure but there is a lot of stuff that is similar to what i remember about the bible. i had to read about it in AWANA. I always called this girl from AWANA name Summer to pretend to do bible studdy. She was nice and I had to lie to her just bc i had a crush on her. She wanted to help me with jesus but i wanted her to be my girl friend. It is one of my secret shames that I had to lie to a girl to talk to her. I am sorry to you Summer i hope you still practice the forgivness spells that we learned at AWANA and can forgive me. if not i understand. But i want to tell you that i don’t lie to talk to women or anyone anymore. due to this I am very shy since I dont use the powers of lying anymore. its ok I have my nintendo tapes. and that is how we live and learn. sometimes even the jocker can rise above his scars…., >:)
So when you come to DARGONLORD he asks you to become one with him and join his cause! And you can even choose yes which I did the first time I got to him!!!! And instead of getting to play as a cool evil knight which is what I thought would happen, the screen just turns pink and freezes. I HAD TO RESET THE GAME AND GO THRU THAT DUNGEN AGAIN. I cried a second time and mom said maybe we won’t play that tape anymore but that just made me cry harder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WRONG AWNSER MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SO when you finally get back to him and say NO dum ass! I do not join you! You get to actually fight him,.and he is hard as h3ll!!!!!! He tried to use a spell call STOPSPELL and if it works you cant use heal spell??? but you can beat the sh!t out of him with the spell HURTMORE which is the better version of HURT spell. Attack him to force him to reveal his evil dragon form!!!!!! then the fight truly begens…heheh.
so you beat him in the end and get your ball of light if your smart you will use HEALMORE and HURTMORE and use double sward hit on him. You have to go back to the castle after and king tells you to just take his land and rule it instead. Like he is so happy he just wants to give you his whole country lmao. Like chill out dude god d@m.
So you tell him no that is a dum as$ idea, i will just go conker my own country because i am such a bad ass now i cant be fuckin* stopped at all. The kings daughter hears this and runs out and says COUNT ME IN LETS GO THRASH SOME SH!T and then the game ends…and in part two you even play as your characters great grandkid and you start in the country he dominated with his new wife! I love dragon warrior games they are awesome and i still play them when new ones come out even though they changed the names of them to DRAGON QUEST. I dont know why they just did dragon warrior was WAY cooler bc warriors are much more bad ass$ than quests lmao. like yeah , warriors GO on quests, that part is implied itiots!!!
anyway i tried to apologize to summer and she blocked me on myspace in 2007 and pretended not to know who I was and said it was creepy for me to message her and say that. so whatever…society shown me my true face,,,and it is a face that now is always smiling…. >:)~
that is why i rate DRAGON WARRIOR 1/10
