It’s Another

Letter #1

Dear Dr. Mr. Nintendotapes

Which martial art is best for defending myself against bullies?

Thanks,

Bullied

Dear Bullied,

Wow, another good question this week.

(I really appreciate it when readers send in letters, so keep sending them to mrnintendotapes@gmail.com)

So, you want to learn how to kick and punch and possibly flip in order to defend your body or honor from attackers.
As a former Bullied myself, I can tell you that my pacifist responses did not serve me well! You are making the right choice in dedicating yourself to one of the many honorable combat arts.
As a practitioner of Iai-jutsu (quick draw sword art, took lessons in 2003) I feel I am uniquely qualified to answer you much more accurately than my competition.(Dear Prudence and Dear Abby’s martial prowess or lack thereof are still unknown, and I am going to assume nil. If they read this, feel free to drop me a line so I can update your enemy profiles in my villain database with Way of Fist or Way of Sword)

So as you can see, Way of Martial Arts is a wonderful way to build courage (I do not fear Prudy or Abby) and self respect, not to mention the ability to defend yourself or your honor (or the honor of your loved ones) in a decisive and impressive looking manner.
FYI, If you can master the flips, you will be unstoppable. No one knows how to deal with them. It confuses your enemies and allows you to swiftly strike their neck, incapacitating them. The neck should be your only target. It is where you breathe. But Neck Strike Jutsu is not the only technique. There are many such jutsu’s you can learn. Many indeed.
Ask your potential sensei what his power rating is IN JAPAN only. America has no oversight on power ratings and many senseis will just make them up, you can tell because they look confused and upset when you ask. “uh, enough” is NOT a power rating!!! So don’t accept that.

So my medical advice would be that you find a good and appropriately power-rated sensei who can teach you flips and neck hit jutsus (techniques.) Karate would be better than Iai-jutsu in your case, as you are not allowed to hit people in the neck with swords and you can’t open carry the katana you get from the mall anyway.
Luckily I can soak punches very well because of all the practice I got in elementary and middle and highschool and some college. I did not learn Way of Fist. But my blade shines on…

We are warrios. Never forget that.
We are warriors.

With Honor,
Dr. Mr. Nintendotapes

Letter # 2

Dear Dr. Mr. Nintendotapes

I keep finding food wrappers hidden in the house and in the car. My partner swears they don’t belong to them.
What could be happening? It is not like them to tell a lie to me.

Confused and Scared,
Boise

Dear Confused,

The appearance of random food wrappers could indeed be explained by a lying partner, but since you said they don’t tell lies, we have to investigate this phenomenon a little more thoroughly.

It is not uncommon for ghosts or other types of Intelligences & Entities to engage in behavior like this, for example. Take the Brundok of ancient Mesopotamia. It is a type of ghost who would leave food wrappings on the floor of ancient homes after stealing the meats and breads from a family. If there was a baby in the home, it would also consume their soul. The Brundok is under the control of a demon called Pazuzu and that guy is not the one you want for an adversary.
I would advice you to find a high level priest or pastor to do the Soul Test to your partner. If an Brundok has taken up residence in your home and there are no babies, it could have consumed their soul instead. That would be the easiest way. If this proves to be the case, write back because I have a banishment system that will make the Brundok move on.

One of many systems I have personally developed to repel Intelligences & Entities over the years.

Well that wraps up another Ask the Dr. segment!
I am running low on emails! Better send me one!
And allow me to heal your life. I am a wonderful healer.
-MRNT OUT