Letter #1
Dear Dr. Mr. Nintendotapes
I hope you can help. My huband and I were watching a movie called “The Wizard” with Fred Savage and during the finale, they play Super Mario 3. My husband said it was the first time anyone in the world ever saw the game, and since he was there to see the movie in 1989 on opening night, he was one of the first people in the world to ever see the game being played. Ever since he’s been referring to himself as “Mr. Mario” and “King Koopa” around the house and shoving it in my face.
Is this true? IS The Wizard the first time SMB3 was seen??
HELP he is insufferable!
THANK YOU!
Super Divorcio Sister, Annapolis
Dear Super Divorcio Sister,
Your husband it partially right. In the age before the internet, people in the US hadn’t seen Super Mario Brother’s 3 in action unless they came across it in an arcade in a Playchoice-10 cabinet.
But please, the next time MR. MARIO is going on about how he was one of the first people to see it in action, remind him of a country called JAPAN who had been playing the game an almost 2 full years before fred savage did in The Wizard.
Maybe that will settle down King Koopa’s nutsack a hair.
Who even is this guy, my advice is that you never let him play nintendo again. My God. I seriously wanna play this guy in Double Dragon B mode and mop the floor with his ass tbh. I’m getting mad just thinking about your husband for real.
All my best,
Dr. Mr. Nintendotapes
Letter #2
Dear Dr. Mr. Nintendotapes
I recently got into a fight with my girlfriend over our shared expenses while living together and it came out that she is extremely wealthy. Like, hotel chain owning level of wealthy. I was gobsmacked to hear it and now she’s trying to stuff the worms back into the can but it’s too late.
What do I even do? Her family are literal billionaires and I had no idea while we argue over dinner bills.
Sincerely,
Looney in Lisbon
Dear Looney,
My advice is to ask your girlfriend for a playstation 5 and a nintendo switch. Then move on to things like cars and awesome jet packs or hover mobiles. Have you ever seen a fucking hovermobile??? They are awesome. And amhibious vehicles. You can park in your POOL. Could you imagine.
I would also ask her for a invisibility camo suit like the CIA use when they do their psyops on poor neighborhoods except I would use it against them to destabilize them from within. With all her billions I would get so many cool gadgets to defeat the CIA. Just imagine what I could do. I can’t stop thinking about it at all and I don’t even want to try. And I would drive a de Tomaso Mangusta around as my signature car and the wrap would say “MR. NINTENDOTAPES OPS ROUTINE”
All my best wishes,
Dr. Mr. Nintendotapes
Well that wraps up yet another Ask Dr. Mr. Nintendotapes!
C U Next Wednesday!
