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Nintendo Tape Reviews
My advice for life is Don’t Huff.

Letter #1

Dear Dr. Mr. Nintendotapes,

Is Dimpler a good name for a baby boy? Brian keeps saying it is.

Sincerely,
Mortified in West Virginia

Dear Mortified,

No.

I know this was you Brian,
Dr. Mr. Nintendotapes

Letter# 2

Dear Dr. Mr. Nintendotapes,

What’s your perfect date? I’m terrible at coming up with date night ideas and with a recent schedule change, my wife and I are able to fit a few date nights into the monthly routine. I’m excited but nervous! I want to take her on fun outings but when I try to think of ideas, I freeze up!

Locked Up in Louisville

Dear Locked Up,

That’s great news! Normally everyone is too busy scrabbling around trying to keep their homes out of foreclosure so I’m really happy to hear you and your wife get to have some fun!

So, on to some great ideas.
Axe Throwing: I keep hearing about this as a fun date, and great news! Axes are cheap. You really just need a couple of small hatchets and a case of beer to make this date night really take off!
Just remember, the idea is to NOT throw them at one another! ( I think) but at like a old tire or something. I’ve been meaning to try it with my lady myself! Report your findings on this if you do it. Whiskey is a good alternative to beeer for this one.

Arcade: Retro Gaming is officially HOT! If you live in a decently sized town you can usually find a good sized arcade with all da hits. Ms. Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Crystal Castles, you name it. A lot of them serve beer, too, so…bonus! If you live in the tristate area of Pitttttsssssburgh though, I don’t recommend this one, though. I hold the Hi-Score on the Return of the Jedi sit down cabinet and I really dont need any more heat on it. Otherwise, take your wife to a fun night of boozing and Space Invadererrs!

Back Roadin’
Now this is an old favorite! Nothing like putting on some Hot Tunes like GnR or Alice in Chains and hitting the dirt roads under a starry sky! You can even pull over and pop a drink once an hour to keep you feelin’ fine while staying under the legal limit. We do not drive drunk in my neck of da woods! But you really need beer for this. Even a “lil” bit hehe.
God i feel FINE tonight all my problems just went awayy lmao wickeed. now where is da rest of my juice lol
,nmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnm
Hope these ideas help!

With Peace and Love, Foreever more and then som! To all the children of the world aka Us all. I love u all.

Dr. Mr. Nintendotapes

lmao this pic i mad e. “if my nintendotoes was a wish”
god why do i writte these lmao someone any o ne help me hahah

so yeah ok i just came back after posting my NEW advice coliumn which is my REAL JOB ok brian coates because i KNOW that first letter about the dempler baby was HIM writing in for a gas!!!

hey bryan how bout i tell all my readerss abot the 1995 FORD TEMPO INCIDENT OF 1996.

dont make me go there brian.

ok so im back again and yeah. in 1996 i saved up enough money to get a 1988 ford tempo i loved it. it looked like the cars the police drove in robocop. well as soon as i did save up and buy that with money i made as a third key at taco bell MR BRIAN COTES comes home a day later in a brand new gently used 1995 ford tempo, painted black EXACTYL like robocops! and he was like “hey man like the ride” and he knew i was gutted.

then he wrecked that car when he got his first dui and then had to borrow mine to drive his dad to work and then wrecked THAT on the way home!! bryan cotes do not make me tell more…

hey brain cotes does it feel good to loook at what u took from me