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Nintendo Tape Reviews

Review: Golgo 13: Top Secret Episode

Doctor Spock of Star Treck goes on a mission to Earth of the past in this Top Secret Episode of Stark Trek.

+–special feature for today’s review: the official song for today’s review is “You Were Meant For Me” by Jewel (from CD Pieces of You) so please listen to it on a device or hear it in your mind as you read this. I wrote my review so it would be enhanced by this song. –+


(warning: NOT the song “Foolish Games” by Jewal. I didnt study the effects of that one on the mind with this review. i am not responsable if you use that song instead. )

A man named Vic Tokai made this tape. I think in japan it was a star treck tape.

Golgo 13: Top Secret Episode is a nintendo tape about what happens when the KGB want to get a thing called “cassandra” i think it is a disease or something it wants to release but Dr. Spock (Star Treck) is pulled back in time ( i think, Phar-Mor didn’t give me instructions when I rented it just the sticker that tells you what the buttons do, no story included in the sticker) to fight them. It was a cool idea but Top Secert Espisode is one of those tapes that told you “many different kinds of gameplay! ” but then it does all of the kinds of gameplay really badly. Like Bayoo Billy.

Spock from the future shoots a normal KGB guy with his phaser. atomized.

There are levels where you walk back and forth and shoot guys with your phaser and atmoize them (controls bad). Then you go into buildings and have to play first person maze levels like in Goonies 2 (confusing).
Then you go into first person shooting areas where you move a target around to shoot guys and bullets coming at you like operation W.O.L.F. (too hard). Then it makes you play underwater levels like ninja turtle (confusing and controls bad and is too hard). Then it makes you fly around in a helicoptor and avoid planes and shoot planes like in choplifter. (boring and slow and hard). Then when you get to your target you have to look through a scope of your gun to find the guy youre’ going to murder, and then you can snipe them from your helicopter. (pretty cool)

later tator.

I rented this tape and me and Byron played it all weekend when we were 12, finally beat it an hour before we had to go to Phar-Mor and return it sunday night before In Living Color came on. I remember the end boss was another awful first person aiming level, and you have to fight this mother brain from metroid. I think it is the same mother brain from that game, this might even be a secret sequel to metroid. which is cool they let them do that it is the only time I know of where star trek and metroid meet in a game.

That would be a good novel. I might ask nintendo and star treck if i can write it for a small fee. like a hunderd thousand dollars only. Anyway you snipe mother brain at the end and your only ending is just writing.”ok you won good job thanks bye” plain boring writing which is the worst ending u can get, especially when its a game you have to use a notepad and map out confusing mazes and crap while arguing with byron about who is better at the aiming levels and getting game overs constantly. You deserve cooler ending than that if you work so hard to win, maybe cool animated explosion scene and dr. spock falling in love and kissing his girlfriend. That would be good.

dr. Spock talks to people at subways. He gets information about his mission but none of it made sense to us. It was probably too grown up for 12 year olds. i think this game had Spock do s*x with a woman in one part when the lights turn out…

dr. spock was one of my mind friends when I was a kid. Mind friends is a Top Secret trick you can learn within your own brain. It is a kind of trick you can do so that you don’t feel lonely. You can even do it as a grown up. But don’t tell people in real life that you made them into mind friends. I told a hollywood director on social media website that i had created a mind friend copy of him in my mind so we could go on adventures in my imagination and maybe in dreams. But when he read it he blocked me. So its ok to do it, just don’t tell the real life versions of Mind Friends about it. They get mad or scared. Even though it doesnt’ use any of their energy up.

just awful. and theres sharks so double awful for having my phobia in it.

Anyway, all you do is pick a famous or cool person, can even be a person from a fictional book or whatever. Then try and imagine them perfectly in your mind, how they talk and walk and laugh and smile, then imagine they are your best friend. When you have the image of them in your mind they can sort of take on a life of there own. But not really. But if you are laying in your bed and youre’ lonely and no one wants to be around you, it is a good way to have fun with a friend! And guess what, that friend is famous or a superhero, whatever you want!

My mind friend based on a real director disappeared from my mind when the real one blocked me though. So i cannot go to more new jersey hocky games with him in my mind and say things like smootchey bootcheys….. But now me and Jewel can be mind friends maybe. Her song’s are very beautiful. And she is wise. But her songs make you cry if your not careful! So be careful. 🙂

Mind friends are great fun and in many ways just as good or even better than real ones. Because Mind Friends can never tell you that there are reasons why your girlfriends always leave. They can just tell u cool and good things like how fun it is to hang out with you. Which is aweseome.

That is why I give Gogo 13: The Top Secret Star Treck Episode 10 Pieces of You out of 10.