If there is a more bad ass name for a tape i want to hear it. So unless you come at me with like Dr. Gravedigger, Esq VS Vampire Bigfoot: Bad Monster Truck Moon Rising, then get out of here, you’re not topping it. So this game better rip hard with a name like that IMO!
Mr.NintendoTapes family UNfriendly new review website feature:
+– ” Cussing. ” –+
That’s right. You all asked for me to stop editing my Cuss Words on the reviews because you’re not “babies” and it makes me look stupid or lame. Those are two things I hate to be so get ready because from now on there WILL be adult language used. No more stars instead of the dirty letters of the word. >:)
I came across this tape on twitter this morning and decided to buy it. It is a download only tape so I put it onto my phone but I couldn’t figure out how to play it. When I tried on my computer it just opened something that had like an instruction book. Here I made a video on it.
ok so I took about a hour and i found out that the instruction book thing is the actual tape. I thought it was like a video game tape. but it isnt it is some kind of playing card tape?? NBD i never reviewed one and i love to try new stuff so i will see what the directions say and try it out but I don’t have high hopes because i wanted to see parents graves but I’m going to have to imagine them instead.
well guess what I already have a good parent grave image made in my mind from when I was 8 years old in 1985 and my aunt mary accidentally dumped a full pot of hot coffee down the top of my head and all over my chest and back and arms and legs and shoes.
You know how you have those “family stories” that everyone will tell each other every time you all get together for thanksgiving or xmas? every single time? well one of the stories all my relatives tell each other about me and laugh like its the first time they ever heard it (its like the trillionth) is called “remember when (mrnintendotapes) got the coffee spilled on him and he screamed bloody murder? lol”
OK well so sorry that a 8 year old screamed “bloody murder” because near boiling coffee was poured all over his body I guess he is a wimpy MORON!!!!!! “LMAO” ! So anyway a aunt is very much like a mom who doesnt live with you or tell you what to do or look disappointed when you don’t bother going to school dances because you’d “just stand there not asking anyone to dance and imagine you’re back home playing Star Tropics anyway”
so I have aunt mary’s grave already fully constructed at this age let me tell you its been a lot of years that i have been meticulously imagining it.
so that is good at least.
Anyways I sat down and read the instruction book and guess what. It is a card game you play with yourself and then write stories about it every day. I don’t want to go into detail because explaining how a card game works is like giving it away for free. So I will just tell you right now i don’t do anything for fifty days in a row unless i am in a coma or getting paid for it. or like eating or whatever. which pays me in nutrients. so its a hard pass to do this for the whole month and a half but to be fair to the tape i am going to IMAGINE i did and in that way experience it fully. i have explained in past reviews the power of “mind friends” so this will just be an extension of that ability called “mind games” but not the kind that everyone on dating sites says they dont want any of.
Going to play now, be back after the break.
and we’re back.
OK first of all you need regular playing cards and all i got are my fortune teller cards. i use them when i want to get pretty sad about my future or even my past or present. i always get the cards of people getting stabbed with swords and shit or cups that are spilled all over so they might as well do me some good for once in my life by helping me play this dead parents tape.
So I made a character because this is a role playing game tape. That is when you make your own character to play so its good you don’t play this game as yourself and imagine your own dead parents. then no one can accuse you of being a weirdo. it is only a game, aunt mary.
so my character was this guy:
Name: Baltus “Scrizzy” Scrizlam of the Raging Storm
Gender: Pirate man (Pirate king man (in secret) )
Greatest Accomplishment: Won the middle school dance contest with his girlfriend who really loves him a lot and thinks hes cool and he loves her too and they even stayed together for their whole lives and were happy forever. They were never lonely or sad even once. all these years later they still look at each other and smile lol.
Greatest Trauma: seen the challenger explode on live tv in the music room at school and was the only one who cried out loud.
Name of parent who just died: Aunt Nary (real name secret because its only a game not real life)
Ok so there is a real secret system that tells you what kind of stuff to imagine and write about for the game. You can tell the creator is a high art kind of person. It’s pretty crazy because you can write some cool stuff. So i did that and i imagined a whole life of me as Scrizzy getting married and being in love even had a kid haha and the music called “fields of gold” by sting played over my imagination and by the end i was crying pretty hard idk why because those are happy thoughts you would think but i guess its just an emotional kind of card tape.
Scrizzy’s main weapon is “arm grinder” which is an invention of mine that is a robot arm that has these metal chompers on it like those videos on instagram where people feed things into these rolling crusher things. Metal barrels, kids bikes, anything they want.
Yeah so I had that for an arm so no one is gonna cross me at all.
Anyway I got to imagine Scrizzy marrying Ashleigh on top of his Aunt Nary’s grave so that was pretty wicked, like some revenge on this evil queen who thought dumping scalding grog on a boy pirate was a hilarious story. I even chomped up her tombstone a little with my arm grinder.
here is what the game screen looks like when youre done:
Rest Your Heads on Your Parents Grave i will be honest i don’t think it was for me. it feels like one of those “high concept” things that people talk about and that i dont really understand what they mean. like when you meet someone at a party and they say something like “abstract expressionism is so and so” or say “post modern this and that” and youre like “yeah you’re totally right, ha ha” and you hope they dont expect a follow up because you dont have any idea what they are talking about but you know you better act hip pretty quick or be the dum ass of the party.
thats what this game feels like so i am going to say i understood all the concepts perfectly. and please do not ask any follow up questions.
Even though I conquered it as i do every tape i play, this one had me laying in bed for a few hours and having thoughts that were supposedly really good like being married for my whole life and having a kid, but for some reason it just crashed into me like a skyscraper driving a bullet train into my skull and i locked up and did a sort of quiet scream cry for roughly half an hour so i ordered these really good rosemary crusted boneless wings from the place at the bottom of my hill and those always help after you scream cry over happy thoughts so all in all it turned into a pretty awesome day.
This is why I give And You Will Rest Your Head On Your Parent’s Grave an official rating of 10 Nary Graves out of 10.
i paid for my own copy of this game tape and was not given anything to review it. im not affiliated with anyone who made it and any images for it used here are used under copyright by their owners and used here for review purposes. aka “this isnt mine and im allowed to use a picture because of the law”
Also the game gave me an idea to make my own MrNintendoTapes single player card game because it seems pretty easy to do. So be on the lookout for updates on that in future.
“And all the roads that lead you there were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding”