To old people, tapes can be many things. Like HAM Radio or Snoozin In The Recliner.
To Aunt Nary, tapes were Lover Books, which created scenario’s within her mind that I don’t want to think about anymore. In this world in which we live there are many things that can Frighten.
On to the Review.
(names have been changed to protect the innocent or in this case the guilty)
*guilty of harboring Lover Books
While I was busy in the 80s learning the ins and outs of whipping ass of true villains like Donkey Kong or Bowser or the brick walls in Wrecking Crew, Aunt Nary seems to have been “battling demons of her own.”
The demon of lust according to Uncle Harnold after we showed him the box of Lover Books we found.
(Under the Bodice, Over the Mattress)
My sister was pretty excited when she showed Uncle Harnold who got even sadder and asked what the hell we were doing down there, anyway. We told him we got bored of looking at Aunt Nary laying in her coffin so we explored her relics and treasures in the basement and how we found this box tucked away under the stairs.
He said “Just take em” and I said “ok, we can put them on a book sale maybe” and my sister hit my arm and said “You’re fucking crazy”
The rest of the afternoon was spent playing some Baldur’s Gate while mom and my sister went through the box all excited while occasionally stopping to show each other their finds and exclaiming: “ooh! this looks like a good one.”
Uncle Harnold called mom the next day and she told us we can’t come over to the 5th day of the wake because we were “an upsetting presence” and “Aunt Nary needs to be consecrated in peace” and that must be upsetting because I could hear Uncle Harnold crying thru the reciever.
That’s fine Aunt Nary once spilled a full pot of boiling covvee on my head
(see my review for “And You Shall Rest Your Head on Your Parent’s Grave” here: https://mrnintendotapes.com/?p=688 for more information on that trauma)
(warning, first review where website feature ‘cussing’ was implemented)
which was fine with me, I was done looking at Aunt Nary’s coffin and eating ten pastas anyway. Motherfucker.
Anyways as u can clearly see, tapes can come in all shapes and sizes and cause many emotions. In Aunt Nary, that emotion was called “a way to avoid having anything to do with me in the bedroom. she could touch those books all day and never want to touch me” according to Uncle Harnold which he whispered to me in the basement that day while holding my fore arm too tight and blowing his whiskey breath in my face.
Her: (thought) get me the fucking hell out of here.
Well now Aunt Nary is resting peacefully unless Lover Books are a hell thing if there is even a hell which i cant really say. I get this cold feeling that im all alone a lot when im trying to go to sleep like there is a void out there or maybe even just inside me lmao who knows just night time thoughts.
anyway, I don’t like Lover Books, I accidentally read one when I was 11 called The Pack and it was about a pack of killer dogs who ate all these people and then did sex stuff with a lady before eating her and I stopped reading because it was the worst thing I ever read. I wish Chace Mcatee never told me to read it what a loser.
That is why I give Dead Aunt Nary’s’ Lover Books a 0/10 a first time non existent score here on the ol website.
Here on the ol information world wide web lmao
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